Before I begin my blog, I want to address that I recently got married on July 13, 2013. I have had the honor (if you want to call it that) of learning how to put together a wedding all by myself. In this blog you will find tips that I have picked up along the way from things that have worked for me to things that I should have done but did not know at the time. Please feel free to agree or disagree with anything I have written. This is a personal opinion and tips that I would have found useful during the planning stages. I planned my wedding for 546 days, hopefully this cuts down your planning.
Who you choose to be a part of your biggest day of your life is very important. Your bridal party and guests can either make or break the entire days atmosphere. In the end the only thing that matters is that you two love each other and had a great time but if you're anything like me, I pay attention to all details. Thoughts running through my mind, "Who didn't show up, who looks bored, whose dancing, whose having a good time, whose late, whose helpful, whose more concerned with themselves, etc." I wanted to put together a blog little by little to help future brides!
Firstly, most venues have a minimum amount of guests that you have to pay for. The minimum is higher and most expensive on Summer Saturday evenings. You can get away with a good price break either by having your wedding on a Friday, Sunday or a 'non-peak month'. Before going to your first venue appointment, consider putting together a list of people you would like to invite in different categories such as: Definite's (very close family and friends), Co-workers & church/extracurricular friends, maybe's (friends you haven't seen in a while, family you haven't seen in a while/not close with & parent's friends). This will give you a rough estimate going into your appointment. Some venues have the option of buffet, family style or served. Buffet would be the cheapest way to go, family style would be in the middle and served would be most preferred but with a higher price bracket.
OK, so let's touch base a little on choosing your bridal party. Before doing so, consider the following: who will pay for their dress, jewelry, hair, makeup & shoes, what your budget is on gifts for them, if you will have them wearing the same dress & color or if you're wanting to go a more non traditional route. Please, also consider, you're Maid of Honor and bridesmaids will be hosting your bachelorette party & possibly your bridal shower, as well. Based on what you are helping them with, total together what you think they'll be spending. This will help you in the decision process, as you don't want anyone feeling uncomfortable by having to reject your offer due to low funds. Next consider who your top friends are, who would absolutely do anything for you, who you can rely on/trust & who you know will 100% support you along the way. You can have as little as just your Maid of Honor/Best Man standing up in your wedding to bridal parties of 10+. Less in most cases can be the least stressful and most joyful. Make sure you talk to your girls upfront about your plans as far as their above mentioned 'dress, jewelry, hair, makeup & shoes' go. Also, make sure to tell them what their roles are as a bridesmaid and how you would appreciate their help along the way. Don't make the mistake of not communicating this at first or else you're going to end up with your Maid of Honor running around like a chicken with her head cut off trying to communicate with your bridesmaids on setting up the parties, organizing times to help put together projects, getting their dress appointments in & purchasing their dresses at the same time. You also don't want the day of your wedding to come where absolutely none of them are being of any help to you and only worrying about themselves. You need someone to help you through the entire process from Makeup to peeing. Again, no initial communication=no help.
Lets get back to your guest list. You want to keep a good spreadsheet of all the guests you're considering in separate columns by category. Google Docs spreadsheet has been a god send for me. You can also put a small column next to each one with an open slot to put how many guests go along with that particular invite and then have it total at the bottom, to keep track of your numbers. Obviously everyone on your definite list will get a definite invite. All other categories, here are some things to consider: Will you ever see this person again after the wedding? Would they come to your funeral? Would they come to your 25th year anniversary? Do you love that person/does that person love you? Have you seen this person in the past couple months? How close are you really with this person? After considering these questions, you may already have knocked quite a few people off the list. Please know that some guests do not know wedding etiquette, nor do they bother to research it. A plate per person can be anywhere from $50 and up. If you are going over your minimum number, you are paying extra for each plate. The careful consideration in your guest invite list can prevent a number of no shows and prevent a number of people coming just for the food & booze. If a guest asks you if they can add another person on to their invite, politely say no. From personal experience, 100% of the time you will see no return for that extra seat you just reserved. A couple does not expect to profit from their wedding but it is a nice gesture for a guest to at least cover their part in hopes to help the couple begin their new lives together, especially if the couple is paying for their wedding out of their own pocket. It's not OK to receive a $25 gift card from a family that reserved 4 seats aka $200 worth, but don't be shocked if you do not carefully consider!
It's getting late so I'll have to finish this up at another time. I hope this helps you with your first steps of planning your wedding!
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